Words Unspoken

Nice

2010-04-02T00:57:00.000+08:00

"The eyes are ofttimes more eloquent than the lips, Tara," he replied; "and in yours I have read that which is neither hatred nor contempt for Turan the panthan, and my heart tells me that your lips bore false witness when they cried in anger: 'I hate you

From
The Chessmen of Mars by Burroughs, Edgar Rice

The 3 most important questions

2009-10-08T23:22:00.000+08:00

1. When is the most important time in the world?
Now.
2. Who is the most important person in the world?
The person you're with.
3. What is the most important thing in the world?
To care.

***
I heard this in a Buddhist talk by Ajahn Brahm. I found it very meaningful.

Thank you Ajahn Brahm. :)

Why?

2009-09-28T23:53:00.000+08:00

I'm going to freaking die like how i died in LES today.
Sigh. I'm getting lazier. And lazier. Where has my willpower gone to?
Why am i so freaking lazy and so freaking stupid?
I really am not who i used to be.
I am shitty, fugly, stupid, lazy, lame, evil, insensitive, stupid.
Mayb i said stupid twice, but that was intentional.
Argh. I better do something about myself.
Shit.
I have to work harder. Because I may not be able to board the express train otherwise.

self -hate

2009-09-28T21:42:00.002+08:00

Hate
i) my stupidity
ii) laziness
iii) stupidity

The resounding ticks of doom

2009-09-24T18:17:00.000+08:00

I hear it ticking,
the quiet ticking of my clock.

Ever so slowly, it draws me closer to my doom.
Ever so gently, it plunges me deeper into this gloom.

I hear it ticking,
the terrible ticking of my watch,

even when asleep,
it ticks away horribly,
like a thorny vine slowly entangling you,
suffocating you to death.

i hear it ticking,
because it never stops.

Friendship

2009-09-17T03:07:00.000+08:00

What is friendship in the first place?
Is it something you hold on to when you're feeling lonely? Something to fight for with your life? Or merely something you can just wash your hands off without a second thought?
Everyone has different views and opinions about friendship, probably due to the different priorities in life and different upbringing during childhood. What the fuck happened to platonic relationships between guys and girls man. The fuck. Is every girl out there someone you should fall in love with? Can there be just a friend of the opposite sex just being a good friend? Why do some people get so fucking confused with these lines? Why can't there be friendship that is pure, and everlasting? Why do people screw each other over? And finally, why the fuck am I cursing so much?
Sigh.
As adults, I find that we must at times see for ourselves what is right and what is wrong. That is also a part of growing up. Dealing with this dilemma is a way of growing, emotionally more than any other departments. Think with an unbiased mind, see with your own eyes, and then judge based on your observations. There can be no certain way of saying what you did was right or wrong, but because you made your decision, you have to pay the price.
I guess im not being very Buddhist about this topic. And I really should just try to follow the middle path. Sigh. I do disappoint myself sometimes. Most of the time.
Maybe i just need sleep.
This world is a screwed up place. But still sometimes you find things to be happy about. When good friends come along, i say hold on to them, and treat them like how you would treat yourself. Because it never dies.
Because you allow a good friendship to die if it does.
But you made the decision. Im contradicting myself arent i?
I need sleep.
I need dreams.
And a blanket to hide them.
Nites.

A new saying.

2009-09-15T02:05:00.000+08:00

Happiness is like a little bird; you spend your life finding it and trying to catch it, and when you finally give up and stay still, it lands on hand gently...and FUCKING SHITS ON YOU!
hahahahahahahah. >.<
damn . i just had to say that. sorry. lol. haha.

Farewell sista !

2009-09-07T02:26:00.000+08:00

Haha. It only struck me today. That my sister was actually really leaving to Australia. Like for 2 actual years in the human calendar, and i have no idea where her career would lead her next time. Rather than being sad and 'emo' about it, i guess i should celebrate the fact that this she has finally grown up. :) (although im actually younger than you, but i do look older ,bitch haha.).
   The fact that she was leaving also got me to thinking the fun times we used to have at home last time. :)
   Our lame jokes, obsessions over weird stuff, stupid fun stuff that we enjoyed. Haha, those were really the highlights of the past. Something to smile about when we're older.
    Stay 'slumber' n coolio as usual.
    Byes bitch. N take care.

The girl with the unnatural love

2009-08-24T22:38:00.003+08:00

Do not read this story. It is a waste of your time because:
1. it does NOT involve you
2. you're probably better off studying or doing work

***
She was never what you called normal. Yet she was not very weird either. Somehow she managed to squeeze in between the lines. The ones that knew her would remember her well, for she was a rather special person. Yet when asked to describe her, they would scratch their heads, finding it hard to put a word to her character.

Perhaps to understand why she had this unnatural love, you would have to peek into her childhood days. When she was young, she would play alone. Her daily activities revolved around the usual child's sphere of play, from catching frogs to swimming in the river. She sat by the riverbank everyday, staring aimlessly into the flowing water. She would catch fishes and talk to them. Sometimes she would have a heated conversation with a fish that was flapping in the water. But being so young at that time, people would only wave it off as foolish child's imagination.

Her parents thought she was just being a playful child, choosing to spend her days by the riverbank. Yet as the days passed by, she spent longer and longer hours by the riverbank near her house, skipping meals to just gaze and chat with the fishes. Her parents grew worried, and questioned her actions, but all they got as a reply from this child was a curt, "blurp blurp", which she translated as "go fuck yourselves" in fish. For a 5 year old kid, this vocabulary was beyond comprehension, at least during that time. Rather than being proud of their daughter's ability to speak fish, her parents were horrified and began to lock her indoors and limit her playtime at the riverbank.

The girl seemed to revolt at first, but she later realized that going against her parents would not help her with anything. So she resorted to sneaking out at night. Chatting with the fishes at night was a new thrill to her, especially because they seemed to tell more jokes at night. After years of conversation with the riverside fishes, they began to trust her enough to bring her to their houses far north, close to the sea. Initially, the fishes would bicker back and forth whether or not bringing a human to their lair was a wise decision, but as the seasons waxed and waned, she managed to convince them with her fluent fish.

Her nightly activities though, did not go unnoticed. As she grew to the peak of her beauty in her teenage years, the village boys just could not keep their eyes off her. With her unusual crystal blue eyes that stared into space and her dark tresses billowing in the wind, even girls would sigh at her beauty. The boys would try to get her attention but she stayed cool and far from the usual crowd. She preferred the water, the calm and the fishes.

And as people shower attention on one, others would grow green with envy. This happened to the local drama queen Sally, who decided that attention should be spent more on her because she trimmed her nails and straightened her hair. Sally chose a dramatic dark and stormy night to murder her but instead slipped and fell head first into the stream.

Her heart burning with hatred and embarrassment, Sally returned to the village the next day and accused the unusual girl of sorcery and witchcraft. The sadistic nature of humans played a huge role in fueling their superstitious fear of the unknown. The God-fearing villagers then proceeded to try to burn the girl. And even her parents were among the torch-carrying crowd.

"Blasphemy! " they would scream as they marched towards her, each and every hand carrying torches and wishing for her death. The men wanted to see her dead, the housewives wanted to have a juicier topic of conversation and the children were, well, just children tagging along. Sally grinned and wondered why nobody realized she was lying. Probably because she trimmed her nails and kept her face pretty everyday.

Seeing this, the girl dove into the river. Some say they saw her sprout gills from her legs. Others say her skin became scaly like a dragon. But everyone knew that she swam away far towards the north. If you were paying attention, you would realize that the far north is the safe fish sanctuary that the fishes were chatting so happily about.

Once in a while, people would see her surface in some riverbanks across the country, her clear blue eyes piercing through the darkness of the night. She cries and she laughs, because she is finally free, but she is no longer human.

Because of her unnatural love.

Sigh.
***
Anyways, blurp blurp.
:)

Martial arts: Why I love them

2009-05-23T20:32:00.006+08:00

It first started with kung fu films i think. The ones that with simple story lines, no nonsense, all fighting kung fu films. You could imagine a child sitting in front of the tv, wide-eyed, looking at Jet Li performing his almost impossible moves. My childhood dream was to be as powerful as how these men could be. To be a fighter, but one that only stood up for justice.
I used to be conceited, thinking that whatever martial art i practiced was the best in the whole wide world. I would ridicule other forms of art during my secondary school years, and i always wondered why my sensei was so humble. Yet, as I packed my bags and stepped into university life, my world's horizon expanded. Understanding for once how large this world was, with so many great people out there, I felt humbled.
No matter what martial art is out there, I will respect them as because each martial art has their own philosophy and cultural roots. Each has their strengths and weaknesses. Each were applicable in their own field of combat, honed to a fining perfection under the masterful work of countless masters.
Nevertheless, people have preferences, and thus comes the never-ending debate of "which martial art is best?". It happened in China during the ancient times, and now it is happening around the world due to globalisation. Gradually, there would be fights fought under false pretences, and just bloodbaths fought in the name of pride and dignity.
It was here I got stuck for quite some time. Why do we fight? Being a peace lover, I find that it is always better to pick the high road of not fighting, and resolving any issue with words rather than fists. Is it an animal instinct that compels us to fight? The urge to show dominance and to satisfy our voracious appetite for success? If you desire peace so much, why learn a martial art in the first place? If we learn to fight and to hurt, wouldn't that martial art be merely a weapon?
I was still questioning myself when I stumbled upon Wing Choon in KL. I was fortunate because I was guided by excellent teachers and friends. This branch of Wing Choon was called Yip Kin Wing Choon. Although I still hardly know much about Wing Choon, the philosophy, history, and movements never fail to astound me. I would rather not discuss my views and interpretations of this wonderful martial art for fear that my inexperience and ignorance would shed a misleading light for those who are unfamiliar to this martial art.
As i began learning here, i found that the people here were generally very kind and well-spoken, and this formed another question in my mind. These people were patient, not quick-to-anger, much less raise fists in a normal squabble, then why would they learn to fight? Why settle things with fists rather than words?
And the the relevation just came. I found out how stupid I was. They learned to protect themselves and their loved ones. Because in the face of danger, our body would be more well coordinated to react immediately and with confidence. Unlike me, who could only think like a stubborn brute, my friends actually wanted to protect something, be it family, loved ones, or to restore self-confidence and dignity.
Sure, it does sound awfully cliched. But fighting to protect something would always propel us to greater heights. It is something larger than self. We swallow our ego and venture further. We learn to respect other martial arts, and then that respect begins to encompass other aspects that we discriminate against, such as race, culture and religion. So that answered my initial question, we fight to protect, to humble ourselves and to be healthier, happier people.
I fight to protect,yes. But that doesn't stop me from enjoying it. Hehe!

Growing up = giving up ideals?

2009-05-21T17:54:00.002+08:00

Today while i busy doing nothing, fiddling with the computer my junior from secondary school nudged me on msn. We had a short chat but this got me to thinking, between my final year(in which i graduated) and today, what on earth happened to me? I am still same old me, yet I've developed an amazing variety of bad habits. I'm lazier, crazier and less idealistic than my former self.
I had so many ideals that i swore i would never give up. Back in Chung Ling Butterworth, i was relatively happy, sheltered from many unknowns of the world. Perhaps its because I felt like there were so many things waiting for me to be done, so many wrongs in the world that desperately needed me to right. After graduating, slowly but inevitably, I couldn't hold on to many of the ideals that were slipping away from me.
I wanted to be pure good, vowing that I would never be lazy, never be unmindful, never give way to wrong things in life. And now I feel as though everything has been stripped away from me, and I am but an empty shell of foolishness.
Perhaps growing up only occurs when you accept the harsh realities of the world, when you are forced to adapt to a world that is alien to yours, and when you look back, you'd only smile and say , " how young and foolish i was".

New Year's...Hmmm...

2009-01-01T20:58:00.002+08:00

Despite my nagging desire to go to the countdown on New Year's eve, I didn't go to anywhere remotely close to a town. All i chose to do was stay in my little hole and spend time with my friends. A new year has come and gone, where do i go from here, i wondered yesterday?
Perhaps the reason why people await the arrival of the new year so eagerly(particularly us students) is because we see hope to start anew, however unrealistic it may seem. For those who slugged through the year half-awake, it may seem like this year is going to be a year where we're going to throw out all of our nefarious activities that we so stubbornly clung on to last year. We hope that somehow we can improve our lifestyles by studying harder, earning more money and fulfilling all our promises to those we love. We want to be contented and happier, not the miserable slug-people that we were before.
Sure, we had loads of fun. But perhaps we are starting to lose sight of the one thing that we thought that we could achieve when we were young - happiness. We lost sight of our goals and motivation amidst the sea of distractions. What do we actually want? Money, property, outward success? These are the three ideals that Albert Einstein despised, as they granted us nothing more than temporary pride and fake happiness. Instead, what drove this genius onwards was Truth, Beauty and Goodness.
In a way, i agree with him. We know that becoming a better person will invariably steer our path towards something better, yet we stubbornly refuse to accept that when it is thrown at our faces. We aren't exactly saints. We curse, we scream and we hate every single day. We are enticed by the bitches of desire everyday, and everyday we fall into its trap.
For me, my biggest enemy is sleep. I hate myself when I sleep till the afternoon yet i repeat the same cycle everyday. I'm like an nocturnal animal that is truly awake at night. Hence, my prime time in a day is about 1 or 2 hours, where i am truly of sound mind, before i return to my eternal slumber. The rest of the day creeps by in a blurry daze. I don't think much calculation is needed to know that hating yourself everyday is not a healthy practice.
So what do i do about it? Nothing.
This leads me back to my boring new year and self. Hope is definitely what i require to get myself out of this abyss. I think most people would think the same. That they can do much better than they are doing now. Hence, I wrote a few new resolutions:
1) Study harder.(Seriously, study harder).
2) Sleep less, exercise more.
3) learn wushu or some martial art.
4) be a better person in general.
5) Call home more, and call my popo more.
6) Be nicer towards family, loved one and friends.
7) Write more short stories.
8) Finish those short stories when i start them(lol)
9) save more money(seriously, save more money)
okay, here is where those resolutions start to get unrealistic(for next year, as I'm still a student)
10) buy a pool table
11) buy a nice house
Hoping for something better is surely a nice feeling. If this feeling stays with us for everyday of the year, then perhaps the dark clouds of misery would be blown away by the winds of hope.(Rather corny, this one).
I sure dont know how to conclude something like this,anyway...
Happy New Year!

Words in anger

2008-07-08T10:18:00.002+08:00

Words. They come and go. They connect us to the sea of humanity that engulfs us. We are somewhat like spiders, for we weave words as spiders weave webs. We may marvel at the intricate patterns of a web, but personally I think no other animal (there may be other intelligent life forms than us) may weave a pattern so convoluted, so twisted, so bizzarely complicated.
We lie. We cheat. We curse with words, be it in your mind or through speech. It is both a poison and a serum. But the words that we so carelessly utter, will never return. No matter how much we want them to. We pray for them to come back. We plead for them to come back, and hope everything is forgotten.
But these...words...do not ever return. Nothing will ever mend a wound. The scar will never go away. And so does the hurting.
I said something very wrong yesterday. And I think I will regret it forever.

Pulau Jerejak-ing

2008-06-06T16:51:00.003+08:00

A few days ago, my mom and I decided to go to Pulau Jerejak. From what we've heard about this island so very close to Penang, the place seemed fun for a one-day trip. So, we just bought the tickets and bounced off to the island.
The ferry ride (or was it a boat?) was quite pleasant, with the cool wind gently blowing past us, and probably messing up everyone's hair (I seem to recall many aunties scurrying for cover..hehe). After what seemed eternity (around 5 minutes), we reached the island safely. In the 18 years of my life, I've never set foot on this island before. Hence, I was just as excited as a hibernating polar bear, probably because I realized that 18 years of never being here were too short a time.
The service was great, and the scenery was beautiful. I suspect there were jungle trekking, flying fox, camping packages available, but being a National Service trainee (hehe...hehe...), that part of my life is considered so long ago.
But just so my trip here would not be considered a waste of time, I persevered to take down notes of the flora and fauna on this island. And I actually learned some very interesting facts about Pulau Jerejak. This fabled island was said to be where Francis Light set foot before he reached Pulau Pinang (the Pearl of the Orient).
*for those uninterested in facts, do not continue reading*
This island, covered with thick coastal forest, aging approximately 4000 years hosts 210 species and 71 families of plants. The main plant communities that can be found on Jerejak island are Dipterocarp, Mangrove, Riverine Coastal and Weedy species.
Ahem, and for those who are looking for an aphrodisiac (the traditional ones), fret not, there are supposedly many of the revered Tongkat Ali plants (Eurycoma Longifolia, a medicinal plant that increases strength and energy) growing on this island.
Besides that, there is the White Bellied Sea Eagle and Long Tailed Macaques that live on this island. I spotted one monkey btw. Hehe.
So, there it is. My day in Jerejak Island. Haha. (Although I didn't do much except fold a grasshopper from a Palm tree leaf, I got to spend time with my grandma and family), so, this trip was just another excuse to go gallivanting around Penang with them. Muahaha.

What to do when you're utterly bored(only for those above 18)

2008-05-30T15:43:00.004+08:00

Ahem...This is what you should do when you're in a shopping mall, with nothing but time to spare.
Trust me, it makes you feel very silly, but hey, who the hell cares anyway?
The picture here depicts a few pigs doing something that defies the law of nature. But the brave pigs here have decided to test the boundaries of this law, and viola! A superb piggy threesome has taken place!

A few ways to tell your mom you love her on her bday!!

2008-05-25T11:45:00.002+08:00

Ahem...Yesterday was my beloved mother's birthday. So, I have been hearing this rumor going around the world saying, "The best present you can give is to tell her you love her." And hence, without further delay, I started hatching a plot, sketching a plan and all the possible emergency exits should anything go out of hand.
At the crack of dawn, no, actually, it was way before the crack, it was around 12.01 in the morning, I mustered all my courage, summoned out the ancient spirits of bravery and valor, combed my hair(actually I didn't), and grabbed my present. Then with steady footsteps, I walked to my parent's bedroom. And knocked.
And somehow, this chilling night breeze that blew from nowhere attacked my senses, and in the distance I heard a wolf howl. The footsteps approaching the door were thunderous, deafening as I waited for the door to open. Ahem, I gave my mom the present and screamed Happy Birthday, before my parents decided that I should sleep.
Damn..
So, here are another few possible methods to tell your mother you love her on her most important day.
1. Place a small stone between you and your mom. Trip on the stone and give her a hug. Then say the words as you fall.
Side effect: You might hurt your mother, physically and emotionally. She would think of her son as an insincere prick with a vacuum-filled space between the ears.
2. Try falling sick, or powder yourself till you look like a ghost. Then utter the words Hong Kong drama-style.
Side effect: Sigh. Just don't try this at home kiddo.
3. Ask around the family, and get to know your mom's enemies, and who your mom bears a grudge against. Kill them.
Side effect: Life imprisonment(it's not murder!), but you will get daily visits from your mom.
4. Plant a pumpkin. Carve those sacred words onto the small pumpkin as it grows.
Side effect: You will have to celebrate the birthday two months later. Check the calendar! Focus!

Hmm..So this was what I did. I decided that I had to treat her to dinner. So my dad and I brought her to Autocity. We stepped into Swenson's and out of a sudden, I felt like I was being followed by some unknown presence. I walked around the restaurant and found a spot, yet the stalker stubbornly followed my footsteps. A sudden unreasoning fear grabbed hold of my heart, as I questioned myself, "Was this assassin delivered from the alliance of enemies I had?"
Just as I was about to deliver a flying kick to the stalker, she said,"What would you like to order?"
So we enjoyed dinner, and I had to literally force my mom to ALLOW me to order the apple crumble for her. We all knew she liked sweet stuff, but as a caring mother, she decided that it was straining my budget. After dinner, I dragged myself to the counter. The cashier was quite a pleasant person, with a pleasant voice, that was before-
"RM 112.80 please."
My wallet burst into flames, and I suddenly my life flashing before my eyes.
Ever so slowly, I withdrew my money, said goodbye to all my old pals(the green ones), and watched the cashier swallow them like a lizard. Maybe it was just me, but I vaguely remember seeing her lizard-like tongue lick her lips as she hungrily eyed the money. Anyway, I couldn't drive my parents back, because:
1. I just got my license, everybody is wary of my superb driving skills.
2. My license was burnt into cinder. My wallet burst into flames, remember?

Okay, back to the story. We braved the treacherous storm and violent elements, and headed back home. Before I went to sleep, (ok, before i TOLD my mom I was going to sleep, hehe), somehow my horizontally challenged feet slipped on the deceptively flat surface, so I gave her a monstrous hug. And told her what I should have been telling every year of my life.

Muahaha..another few jokes

2008-05-23T22:05:00.002+08:00

Lame...But hey, i read them on the net and find them funny.:)

Why did the tomato turn red?
It saw the salad dressing!

Be Politically Correct With Men

He does not have a FAT BEER GUT - He has developed a LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.

He is not a CRAP DANCER - He is OVERLY CAUCASIAN.

He does not GET LOST ALL THE TIME - He INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.

He does not SLEEP AROUND - He is HORIZONTALLY OVER-GENEROUS.

He is not BALDING - He is in FOLLICLE REGRESSION.

He is not a CRADLE SNATCHER - He prefers GENERATIONALLY DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS.

He does not get FALLING-DOWN DRUNK - He becomes ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL.

He is not a MALE CHAUVINIST PIG - He is a SWINE EMPATHIZING BIGOT.

He is not afraid of COMMITMENT - He is MONOGAMOUSLY CHALLENGED.

He does not STINK - He has HYGIENE AVERSION SYNDROME.

He is not a GROPING PERVERT - He suffers from COMPULSIVE HAND MOVEMENT DISORDER.

He is not OBSESSED WITH TELEVISED SPORTS - He has AN ATHLETIC TELEVISUAL ADDICTION.

He does not IGNORE YOU - He has ATTENTION SPAN DEFICIT DISORDER.

He is not a LAZY, MESSY SLOB - He LACKS HAND-VACUUM COORDINATION.

He does not tell ENDLESS, BORING, UNFUNNY JOKES - He is HUMORLY OVER-CONFIDENT.

He does not act like a TOTAL ASS - He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.

Be Politically Correct With Women

She is not a BLEACHED BLONDE - She is PEROXIDE DEPENDENT.

She is not a BAD COOK - She is MICROWAVE COMPATIBLE.

She does not wear TOO MUCH JEWELRY - She is METALLICALLY OVERBURDENED.

She is not CONCEITED - She is INTIMATELY AWARE OF HER BEST QUALITIES.

She does not want to be MARRIED - She wants to lock you in DOMESTIC INCARCERATION.

She does not GAIN WEIGHT - She is a METABOLIC UNDERACHIEVER.

She does not TEASE or FLIRT - She engages in ARTIFICIAL STIMULATION.

She is not DUMB - She is a DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.

She is not TOO SKINNY - She is SKELETALLY PROMINENT.

She does not HAVE A MUSTACHE - She is IN TOUCH WITH HER MASCULINE SIDE

She does not HATE TELEVISED SPORTS - She is ATHLETICALLY IGNORANT.

She has not BEEN AROUND - She is a PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION.

She does not WEAR TOO MUCH PERFUME - She commits FRAGRANCE ABUSE.

She does not GO SHOPPING - She is MALL FLUENT.

She is not an AIR HEAD - She is REALITY IMPAIRED.

She does not get DRUNK or TIPSY - She gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED.

She does not get FAT or CHUBBY - She achieves MAXIMUM DENSITY.

She is not COLD or FRIGID - She is THERMALLY INACCESSIBLE.

She does not WEAR TOO MUCH MAKEUP - She has reached COSMETIC SATURATION.

She does not NAG YOU - She becomes VERBALLY REPETITIVE.

Teacher and Matt

Dirty Little Matt is sitting in the back of math class, obviously not paying any attention, when the teacher calls his name.
"Yeah teach?" he replies. "If there are three ducks on a fence and you shoot one of them with a shotgun,
how many are left?" asks the teacher. Matt answers "Well, teach, if I shoot one of them with a shotgun,
the loud noise is gonna make them all fly off." "No, Matt, there will be two left if you shoot one with a shotgun,
but I like the way you're thinking." the teacher responds. "Well, teach, I've got a question for you...
There are 3 women that come out of an ice-cream parlor, one is biting her ice-cream cone, one is licking it,
and one is sucking on it. Which one is married?" The teacher, a little taken back by the question answers,
"Well, uh, gee Matt, I guess the one that's sucking on the ice cream." Matt replies "No teach, the one that has
the wedding ring on her finger, but I like the way you're thinking!"

Leaving Early

Three women all worked in the same office, with the same female boss. Each day they noticed that the boss would leave work early.
One day, the women decided, that when the boss left, they would leave right behind her. After all, she never called, or came back to work, so how would she know they went home early.

The brunette was thrilled to be home early. She did a little gardening, played with her son, and went to bed early.

The redhead was elated to be able to get in a quick workout at the gym before meeting her dinner date.

The blonde was happy to get home early to suprise her husband. But when she got to the bedroom,
she heard a muffled noise coming from inside.
Slowly and quietly she cracked open the door, and was mortified to see
her boss in bed with her husband!

Gently she closed the door, and crept out of the house.

The next day the brunette and the redhead planned on leaving early again and asked the blonde if she was going to go with them.

"NO WAY," the blonde exclaimed, " I ALMOST GOT CAUGHT YESTERDAY!!!"

everything men know about women

The following is a comprehensive federal study, approved by the Attorney General:
Everything Men Know About Women

End of Report
U.S. Attorney General's Office

3 types of people
There are 3 basic types of people in the world:
1. Those who can count.

2. Those who can't.

foot doctor

A drunk says to the bartender, "I want a woman!" So, the bartender gives him directions to the local brothel. The customer was so drunk, he misreads the directions and accidentally goes into the office of a foot doctor. The receptionist at the counter asks, "Can I help you?" "Yes, I want some service," states the drunk. She sends him to one of the examination rooms and tells him to put it on the table. The drunk goes in and places his manhood on the exam table. When the doctor comes in, the startled podiatrist sees the man's member on the table and she says, "That's not a foot!" The drunk replies, "Give it time, lady, give it time."

Coffins of the past

2008-05-23T20:26:00.002+08:00

Memories of the past mould who we are today. Just as how our actions today determine who we will be in the future. I have had a few people who are dear to me, change right in front of my eyes, because of unresolved issues of the past. Often these painful memories creep silently to haunt you, right when you think you are safe. You hide the emotional turmoil, because you want to find time to puzzle out the problems of the past by yourself. Because you would rather face it alone. But never have you found the answer why. Why certain things happen, and the world (at least it seems like it) chooses to turn a blind eye to your misfortune.
Why are evil people set free, and good folks done injustice?
Do you realize that when you are sad and depressed, most of the time you are merely recalling a painful memory, like a thorn in your heart? The depression takes root when you are lonely. No, not the usual lonely. The kind of loneliness that happens when you find yourself surrounded by people, yet you feel alone. Different. When you see smiles, yet you cannot seem to force a smile out on your face, no matter how hard you try. The crowd goes one way, but you go the other. Because certain experiences breed different people, and certain memories trigger different emotions when something at present happens.
Sorrowful things happen. Happy things happen. That is life, at least from my 18 year old point of view. Yet this is where people differ. We can choose to learn from these experiences. Because something like this has happened, we can understand how other people must feel when they are going through something similar.
That is why I find people like this, more understanding, and willing to care about others. They may be taciturn, but they listen. You may not be a good speaker, but you can be a good listener.
A monk once said that carrying the coffins of the past is heavy. Why did he term it coffin? Because the memories were dead, there is nothing you can do to relive it(the memories, i mean). If you cannot learn from it, if you cannot bring yourself to forget, to throw it away, put it down. Just for a moment. And live in the moment.
The moment of now is what you can change.
The moment of now is what changes you.
Then you can resume carrying the burden. It is respites like this that refills your fuel tank to continue life. When things are too much to handle, and you are fed up with thinking. Stop thinking. Just give your mind the much needed rest from the endless bickering.
Of course, saying it is much easier than doing it. Even more when you are hurting. But sometimes, no matter how much others explain to you, you will never understand, not unless you get through the worst moments of it by yourself.
Everybody has their own coffin of memories, be it happy or sad ones, on their back. But why can some people smile their way through everything? And why do some rich spoilt brats whine at the tiniest things?
I guess, in the end, you make your own world. You decide whether or not to move on or carry it with you.
You decide to smile or to cry.
You determine your happiness or sadness.

hehe..

2008-05-22T10:43:00.000+08:00

I found these jokes on the net..hehe..Well, if it does put a smile on your face, it is funny enough for me. :)

TOP TEN EXCUSES FOR FALLING ASLEEP AT YOUR DESK

1 "They told me at the blood bank this might happen."
2 "I wasn't sleeping, I was trying to pick up contact lens without hands."
3 "I wasn't sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm!"
4 "Amen"
5 "This is just a 15 minute power-nap like they raved about in the last time management course you sent me to."
6 "Whew! Guess I left the top off the liquid paper"
7 "I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve work related stress."
8 "This is one of the seven habits of highly effective people!"
9 "Boy, that cold medicine I took last night just won't wear off!"
10

"Darn! Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a solution to our biggest problem."

Two drunk guys

Two Drunk guys walk into a bar...you'd think they'd see it coming.

Why did the foal cough ?

Because he was a little horse !

Cowboy and the Indians
A bunch of Indians capture a cowboy and bring him back to their camp to meet the chief. The chief says to the cowboy, "You going to die. But we sorry for you, so give you one wish a day for three days. On sundown of third day, you die. What is first wish?"
The cowboy says, "I want to see my horse."
The Indians get his horse. The cowboy grabs the horse's ear and whispers something, then slaps the horse on the ass. The horse takes off.
Two hours later, the horse comes back with a naked blonde. She jumps off the horse and goes into the teepee with the cowboy. The Indians look at each other, figuring, "Typical white man - can only think of one thing."
The second day, the chief says, "What your wish today?"
The cowboy says, "I want to see my horse again."
The Indians bring him his horse. The cowboy leans over to the horse and whispers something in the horses ear, then slaps it on the ass.
Two hours later, the horse comes back with a naked redhead. She gets off and goes in the teepee with the cowboy. The Indians shake their heads, figuring, "Typical white man - going to die tomorrow and can only think of one thing."
The last day comes, and the chief says, "This your last wish, white man. What you want?"
The cowboy says, "I want to see my horse again."
The Indians bring him his horse.
The cowboy grabs the horse by both ears, twists them hard and yells, Read my lips! POSSE, damn it! P-O-S-S-E!"

The world in a day

2008-05-22T09:26:00.000+08:00

This is my first post for my first blog, and hmmm...since this is my first post, i shall have to be quite general before i delve deeper into certain topics of conversation. Here goes nothing...
The world is never fair. Let's face it, life is never a bed full of roses, everywhere in the world people are suffering, including us. We suffer in so many ways, be it an unfulfilled desire (from physical and mental cravings) or physical pain. After the onslaughts of a myriad of natural disasters and unending war campaigns, humanity has been hanging on a thread, struggling -in so many parts of the world- for survival. Yet once we safely conclude that the danger is past, another evil strikes us unawares. The recent Sichuan earthquake is proof enough that we are never too safe, never too far away from danger, from obliteration. So many lives lost, more injured, and even more homeless (approximately 4.8 million), and -brace yourselves- the numbers are steadily rising. What have they done to deserve such a complete wipe out?
While the victims of this earthquake are suffering so many losses, in other parts of the world, people like me sit comfortably on our chairs and type away the words that never seem to end. We weave our words into an intricate pattern, hoping it might do some good, for us and the ones around us. Whenever I strike a conversation with anyone regarding the calamities that have befallen us recently, people tend to grow silent, sympathize with the victims, before changing the topic of conversation so professionally I find myself forgetting the pain and suffering others are going through. I admit, even I try not to think about such events, such catastrophes, such trials for humanity.
After thousands of years of civilization, you would presume that we would be one and united, no matter the skin color, religion and language that drives us apart. You would think that after so many years, we would begin to respect our differences and start mending the wounds of battles of so many years past. Haven't we had enough? Why do some suffer when they do not want to, while others place themselves in the very abyss of suffering, the pit of agony, embroiled in nefarious activities such as drug-dealing?
Depressing right? That is if you think of these matters the way we are taught to in school or our families. That everything should be fair and square. When has the world ever been fair, or show any semblance of equality? History? Those are testimonials that scream iniquity. That is where the root of suffering lies. We have a universe of cravings, and one of them is thinking we deserve more than this...this current situation, but when we are denied it, we scream defiance at fate, destiny or God. Who ever told you life was fair? Some children are born brilliant, precociously articulate and imbued with an innate sense of humor that rightfully earns the love and approval of others; some on the other hand, are often treated as rubbish just because of a certain lack of approval or a few nods of the heads.
Perhaps, try as we might to fight the shackles of time and fate, we are unable to change the world as a whole. But where do we start? Right here *points at heart**btw this is very lame*.
The mind is where the suffering begins, where it spreads its poison and intoxicates the pure mind. The mind is also where we end this suffering. Where we begin our first step to a brighter future, maybe not everyone's future, but just our future. Do you remember how infectious a smile can be? Not the look-at-me-I'm-so-super duper-handsome smile, but rather the goofy smile that comes from the heart. When we start our lives with such positivity, it is infectious, most importantly to the ones we love. Isn't that what we want? Aren't we making life a little bit fairer for them when we show them we care? And, isn't that making the world fairer? Well, maybe just a miniscule speck of dust compared to a universe, but nevertheless, it changes those around us, first and foremost.
My good friend Brian once told me, love is the only rational act. Hmmm...although i do not agree wholeheartedly, it does bring a good ring to my ears when i say those words.